Matured in just one day

 I matured in just one day - 20 Jun 13. Arundhati Roy did it. Having purchased the kindle version of her latest ' Ministry of utmost happiness', I set out to read it. What is she getting at? What is the story line? Was it about the plight, or happiness of hijras? No, no. Is it her way to document the political and social situation of India? Doesn't look like. Was it an essay of how she sees the Kashmir problem? Not really. Then it struck and made me mature in a moment.
She was not aiming at any of these things. She was just narrating incidents as she saw them, without aiming to make them fit an aim. You see, she was expressing herself, not explaining herself. Only people who don't feel the need to fit pre-set expectations can do that. It is others who are then forced to find meaning in them, rather than they working to meet the expectations of others.
At age 64, why am I occasionally sending requests to others to hire me as a trainer? When I do so, my whole personality, even if it be on the web, changes.Willingly or unwillingly, I acquire a salesman subservient role, eager to have other find use in me. That's not maturity for a 64 year old. Also, it constrains my expression. I say what I think they want to hear or what would meet some fixed ends, rather than just to express what I observe.
Intending to act free from now onwards.